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Truth Divine Rivers-Johnson's avatar

Reading this was if I was revisiting points on my own growth journey. Mine began in 2019 and started with sitting with releasing old religious trauma yet attempting to find which lessons needed to stay. I have had some real low moments in which I wanted to just not be in this life experience anymore however sitting on the other side of growth, I stand in gratitude. I stand in gratitude for moments like this when I see my own reflection and remember I am never alone. Thank you for your willingness to share your growth journey with us. 💚🕯️😂

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

We are more similar than different in our experiences. It can feel isolating, when we are in the midst of it. And it can feel equally liberating to share them with others. So thank you for sharing yours 🙏🏼

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Tawnyea Lake, PhD's avatar

Thank you for sharing, Alexandra! This really spoke to me. What you described is so similar to my experience. As a result, I’m unpacking similar limiting beliefs and learning what this means for me as I bravely step into authenticity. I look forward to reading Part 2!

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Hi :) so lovely to read your reflection, thank you so much for sharing. It sounds like you're in an interesting space you're in, is there something specific that is proving to be challenging or revelatory in any way?

Here is part 2, open for feedback!

https://alexandralais.substack.com/p/living-in-the-practice

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Tawnyea Lake, PhD's avatar

Learning to regulate my nervous system has been game changing ✨

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Dhira Brown's avatar

Looking forward to reading how you've been embodying your journey. That's my fav part.

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Hi Dhira, your enthusiasm warms my heart. I published the second part yesterday, curious what your thoughts are, and I welcome feedback on what you'd like to read more of.

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Dr.Vishakha Singhania's avatar

Beautifully written

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Thank you!

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Andrew Lynch's avatar

I love the self awareness here. But was your inner compass ever wrong, or did you just mistake thoughts, beliefs, feelings for your inner compass? I think learning to hear our intuition and discern it from others’ thoughts is key

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

I believe the inner compass develops in accordance to how our system learns to connect with other people. Connection is always prioritised over authenticity. So we might believe, for example, that abandoning our needs is the right thing to do, if we learnt to do that in order to stay connected. Inner compass might guide us towards that, until we begin to heal. Does this make sense?

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Saved by Grace's avatar

So true that healing isn't linear and it can be very difficult to navigate. I felt my nervous system was becoming more regulated, yet I'm feeling so anxious at the moment. My brain wants to embrace spontaneity and let go of control, but I feel my body finds that threatening and is rebelling! I'm quietly determined to 'be with' the fear, but it's not easy. I can feel deep sadness quite close to the surface and I know I find that overwhelming...you gotta be resilient to do this 'work' 🤗 Karen

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Oh Karen, so many deep reflections you offered here. Thanks for sharing vulnerably.

This conflict between mind and body is one I am quite familiar with, too.

In my experience, when I turn in and down into the body, I find a truth that is felt and I choose not to ignore it. Often, the mind is 10 steps ahead in the things it wants to do and experience, but our bodies have a slower rhythm and needs more time to catch up. It might not feel safe enough to be on board straight away with our minds' requests. This is a humbling experience - understanding that we do have limitations and trusting that our body knows.

The pressure to feel the strong emotions like fear or sadness can trigger a protective response in our bodies, it they aren't resourced enough to go there. Small steps of attunnement and curious listening might be the way to go, when it comes to building that resilience.

Love, A

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Saved by Grace's avatar

Thank you Alexandra, you're absolutely right. It's fairly typical of my impatient 'flight' personality to want to rush ahead and be totally healed! It's really good advice to be patient with and guided by my body. I tend to become disappointed with myself and frustrated when I feel anxious, but this just perpetuates dysregulation and I become stuck in a negative cycle. I'm so grateful for your understanding; I feel less alone to know others share my experiences ❤️

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Patience is a great skill to develop in this journey. It is challenging for me too, and I am working on it. It requires letting go of control, which our minds love! 😅

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