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Dr Anita, CBT/ADHD therapist's avatar

Great article, Alex. For me (and what I teach my clients), the integration works better if it’s embodied. I literally turn my body towards ‘ashamed Anita’ or ‘hurt Anita’ and I acknowledge her arrival and I tell her ‘ it’s ok you’re here. No wonder you’ve arrived, given what we have experienced in our past. I hear you. You can sit down and relax now you’ve delivered your message. Yet you’re not telling the full story here, we have other resources to use now, that we didn’t have back then. So I’m stepping in now and we are ok’ This means I can FEEL my emotions, PROCESS them and begin to INTEGRATE them into my ‘whole’ Anita.

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Anita, I am in awe at reading your comment. Thank you so much for sharing and teaching this to us, I am so grateful. 'Ashamed' and 'hurt' you is so lucky to have such a reliable and resourceful Adult you!

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Corie Feiner's avatar

I love this. Naming the parts of yourself that have been hiding with love is so sweet

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Dr Anita, CBT/ADHD therapist's avatar

Thanks Corie. It’s also a way of integrating my many different ‘self’s’ into a whole being, with self compassion and kindness

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Amanda Chappel's avatar

Something that I tend to do when I'm in the deep emotional work of healing is also analyze the people who initially wounded me. I tend to deep dive into the psychology, life experience and circumstances of the people who hurt me so that I can forgive them as part of my healing process.

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Hi Amanda. Oh this is such an interesting thing you are mentioning, because I experienced a similar thing in my recent hypnotherapy session. I am curious, do you do imagine this cognitively or is there a embodiment element to it?

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Amanda Chappel's avatar

I think it's a little bit of both. I am extremely cognitive when I'm analyzing and, of course, I allow any emotions to come up as needed. Then once I'm better able to understand why they did what they did, I am better able to forgive them and embody peace.

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JamPac-Ed's avatar

I've just read this post after listening to your live with Janki and I want to put them together in what you're saying about integration here and how important the living it part is. We are doing the integrate each time we pause in the lived experience and choose to live the new choice

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Hi! Such a nice reflection yes. Integration is always available to us if we take the time to pause. Thanks for reading, watching and contributing to the conversation 🙏🏼

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Corie Feiner's avatar

This is so important and profound. A lot is coming up for me recently that has been in a lock box and am going to take your teachings to heart.

"Nervous system regulation is the foundation of all healing."-- so true. so true.

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Thank you Corie. How is it all going for you?

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Corie Feiner's avatar

This is amazing.

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Thanks Corie, glad it resonated.

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Monika's avatar

Great insight! Love to read this and totally agree about integration process. I often find myself impatient in that regard I must say.

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Corie Feiner's avatar

Me, too... but my yoga practice has been teaching me that life is a practice. And so is this work. My ego didn't like that I was totally hijacked yesterday and was in tears, crying with hurt and shame by something my rational mind thought was so petty. Bu tit was there. And needed to be tended to. So now I am going to tell "ashamed Corie" that I am so glad she is here so that she can be loved and be part of me, too.

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Such a raw and tender share from you Corie, thank you. You are right, this work is a life practice that is anything but linear. I celebrate you for holding space for the part of you that felt shame 🌹

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Yes, same here. But it seems like a crucial part where all new insights can really settle. Our bodies are so intelligent if we let them.

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Sarah-Frances McCormick's avatar

Alexandra, I found this article soooo helpful. I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve never even heard of the integration step!! Definitely interested to hear more.

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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Integration is simply allowing time and space for the shifts we experienced to fully be absorbed by our mind and body. In the context of an emotional release experience, it is important to regulate our nervous systems so that we can signal that we are safe to be with anything that arises. Is this making sense?

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Saved by Grace's avatar

I found this so helpful, thank you. From this perspective, I can see how I've been in a place of processing for a couple of years and feel I'm just beginning to integrate all I'm feeling and what I'm learning. It's a long process (I guess it's lifelong) but reading this has made me feel positive and I realise I AM making progress ❤️ Karen

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Corie Feiner's avatar

I love the moment when you realize that you are making progress.

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Mar 23
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Alexandra Lais's avatar

Thank you!

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