How to Cultivate Self-Trust Even When You Don't Have All The Answers

It isn't about certainty, it's about capacity

Self-trust can feel elusive—especially when we’ve spent much of our lives disconnected from our own experience.
On top of that, we constantly hear phrases like ‘listen to your intuition’ and ‘trust your gut’, as if it’s something we can simply decide through willpower.

But how do we actually know when it’s our truth speaking—and not our anxious nervous system?

In this article, I’ll tackle what I believe to be a few misconceptions on what self-trust is, and offer some new fresh perspectives that have helped me immensely in my journey towards trusting myself.

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Self-trust begins with knowing that what we feel is real.
But for many of us, our emotional reality wasn’t mirrored back to us as children.

If sadness, anger, confusion—or even joy—were dismissed or met with discomfort, we learned to suppress or second-guess what we felt.

Over time, this trains us to look outward for what’s acceptable, instead of inward for what’s true.
The body becomes a place of contradiction, not clarity.
And trust, which requires a stable internal reference point, becomes compromised.

A lot of us also hold the belief that there is a “right” or “wrong” choice—and that getting it wrong will lead to failure, regret, or being seen as bad.

This black and white lens creates immense internal pressure.
Suddenly, decision-making becomes a minefield, and we freeze in the fear of making a mistake.

This fear blocks access to what feels true right now.
We disconnect from our present-moment, body experience of truth, in an attempt to control the future.

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But trust isn’t the same as certainty.
It’s not about having all the answers—it’s about expanding our capacity to be in the in-between. To hold the ambiguity of the unknown while also holding ourselves.

Self-trust is not a fixed destination—it’s a moment-to-moment practice that can be accessed in the present moment, through attunement.
And that attunement happens in the body.

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By slowing down, noticing sensation, and asking simple questions like:

What feels true in this moment?
What feels true about this situation?

we can connect to an embodied sense of direction.

The answer might be: I don’t know right now. That, too, is a valid and trustworthy response.
We don’t need perfect clarity to be connected to our truth—we just need to not abandon ourselves in the process.

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Cultivating safety is the ground of trust.

Our minds and bodies need to feel safe in order to access clarity.
When our nervous system is dysregulated or overwhelmed, our perception narrows and self-doubt grows.
That’s why foundational practices of resourcing, grounding, and regulating are key to cultivating trust.

When we feel safe, we’re more available to notice what’s true—and to hold that truth with compassion and agency.
In this state, the future doesn’t need to be perfectly mapped out. Possibility can coexist with ambiguity.

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And here’s the paradox: the way back to trust is through the parts of us that don’t trust.

In noticing how distrust or confusion shows up in the body—tightness, numbness, agitation—we can give it space to be felt and expressed.

We’re no longer rejecting ourselves. We’re listening.
And that listening is the essence of trust.

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Trust is an experience of the body.
When you feel safe—and know that you’ve got yourself—the idea of right and wrong collapses.
What remains is what feels true right now. And that is more than enough.

As usual, I’d love to hear what’s your experience with self-trust. Let us know in the comments ❤️

Lots of love,
A x